Things That Suck

Did any of you see SNL last weekend when Will Forte sang one of his hilarious songs on Weekend Update?? It was basically him singing about things he didn't like, but pretending he DID like them. So it was funny. See???

So I thought instead of flipping out about how cold it is here (it's -40 here with the wind chill), I would follow in Will's footsteps and be all sarcastic about it. So here's MY list of things that suck even MORE than this awful cold weather. See how I'm looking on the bright side??? In no particular order......I dislike:

-whiney kids
-hemroids
-adult acne
-stepping in dog poop
-going to the dentist OR the OB/GYN
-shepard's pie (you know, that awful casserole with mashed potatoes, canned green beans and ground beef?? please don't ever make that for me)
-Steve Winwood songs (I just can't stand his voice)
-toothpaste spit on the bathroom mirror
-puking/cleaning up someone else's puke
-stepping on a lego/legos
-paying bills
-being stuck in traffic
-heartburn
-going to the ER
-hangovers
-puppy mills
-potholes
-cold coffee
-stretch marks
-broken stuff (appliances, bones, etc)
-annoying people
-getting electricuted
-the stock market
-spam
-the Cubs/the Bears (sorry, people but they do)
-hair in inappropriate places (ear, nose, back - just effing SHAVE IT!)
-speedos
-Mondays
-getting sniffed in the crotch by a dog
-mad cow disease
-having the sewer back up in your house aka poop in your basement shower
-Walmart
-when your favorite show gets canceled
-the hiccups
-explosive diarrhea OR extreme constipation
-war
-getting the wrong order at the drive through
-car door dings
-when people steal your stuff
-missing socks
-telemarketers or when 'toll free call' comes up on the caller id
-decaf coffee or better yet, coffee grounds IN your cup of coffee
-bosses
-the return line at the store
-running out of gas
-repetative noises (tapping, pen clicking, jingling change - STOP IT NOW!)
-public restrooms
-ATM charges
-urinary tract infections
-taxes
-cartoons like The Family Guy or The Simpsons
-when your card gets declined
-crowds
-deadbeat parents
-dumb people



I am sure I could sit here all day and think of more things that suck! And I am sure you could add to the list - feel free to leave some more here. But looking on the bright side, these things all suck more than -40 degrees!!! Don't ever say that I'm not an optimistic person.